Notice the weird portrait of Grandpa Earnest in the background.

I almost totally forgot the picture of the happy new father and daughter.



Makes you kind of wonder if Thad would ever think about his mysterious origins.

Breaking news...

Oh. My. God.

I never would've believed it if I didn't watch it happen.

So there was Stanislaus, stargazing in his underpants at about 2:00AM Sim-time. Grandpa Earnest was watching television; Thad was chatting up some girl in the hot tub. Dina was playing chess by herself, and Stan's new wife, Melissa was at work. All of a sudden, a spaceship comes out of the sky. Seriously. And beams Stan up. Seriously.

OMG, WTF, right? Yeah! So Alex and I are all like, wait! How do we get him back! He's gone! His little status was still in the family toolbar, but his needs (hunger, hygiene, comfort, bladder, etc.) were erratically going up and down.

Argh! Right? So the rest of the family panicked for a second, but eventually went about their business. Sims I guess are just callous like that. Anyway, around about 8:00AM, the ship returned, depositted Stan on his face in the front yard, and left. Whoa.

So what's the deal? Alex and I didn't know until about a Sim-day later when Stan started showing the sign of . . . a Sim pregnancy!

It was just CRAZY. Three Sim-days passed. And then Stan had a black-eyed, green baby girl. Seriously.

We named her Bridget. She's really cute.

Like watching dysfunction in a fishbowl.

Alex has established himself a new Sim family, the Nices. The patriarch of the household is an elder Sim, named Earnest. His life aspiration is the romance option, which makes him one “silver fox” according to the game. He lives with his adult son, Stanislaus, a science-minded Sim who has really bad luck with the ladies. And then there is Stan’s son, a teen named Thadius. Thadius aspires for popularity, but he is a bit of a dweeb, and as you’ll see, he doesn’t have the greatest influences in his family.

Early on it was clear that grandpa Earnest couldn’t be happy without frequently dating, or at least hooking up with, a female Sim. Stan, whose day-to-day wants rarely have anything to do with other people, only skills and knowledge, tried to give the old guy a hand by having parties in the house to get to know more Sims. It works out well, but Stan winds up being the one with multiple girlfriends, eventually leading to quite a scene at the public park in which both women confronted him and beat him up in front of the rest of his family. One of the women and her sister had become roommates of the Nice family, but she promptly moved out. Dina, the remaining sister never had eyes for Stan. She had the hots for Earnest. Despite the marked age difference, this May-December affair is working out wonderfully. They aren’t married yet, neither seems too interested in that commitment.

So Stan is alone. Grandpa Earnest has himself a blond bombshell. What about little dorky Thad? Well, at the moment he has himself two girlfriends. He frequently can be found lounging in the hot tub with one of them at 3:00AM. Apparently teen Sims have a bad sense of time. Thad still desires many friends and parties a lot at home with Earnest. But, the kid still gets straight A’s, so Stan doesn’t appear upset about any of it.

Wicked awesome

Alex and I have discovered something really interesting (or maybe not at all interesting) about our Sims.

I have known since the earlier version of the game that music generally makes them really happy. They like to dance, whether alone, in pairs, or in groups. I also remember that different Sims have tendencies toward different types of music. Like actual people. Kinda neat, right?

Well, in The Sims 2, we have found that our Sims really, really, really like metal. And anyone familiar with the game might remember that while Sims speak and sing and such, they don't use English words. It sounds like English words, but it is actually gibberish Sim language. So imagine a hardcore death metal song, but even less comprehensible.

They will dance to anything, but they seem to prefer the metal station on the radio. Also, it helps that the music video station on TV has a metal video in its rotation. It features Sim teens running through a graveyard, kicking grave markers, falling down on the ground and then writhing around.

It's pretty wicked.

Playing God

It seems to be about time to introduce you all to Ms. Polly Experiment.

(The photo is of Polly and I think maybe Penny on the eve of her transition to childhood. A Sim birthday!)

Polly was born about a month ago when I first stepped into the world of the Sims 2. I played with the Create-A-Sim feature of the game, but ultimately was happy with what the randomizing option created.

She is an adult Sim, pale and blond with a hippie kind of look to her. Without realizing the consequences at the time, I gave her a “family” life aspiration. It seems that not only do players now get to pick what their little Sims look like and maintain their hunger, comfort, and toilet needs, but they also control whole life happiness. And Sims age. They go from babies to toddlers to children to teens to adults to elders to . . . the great unknown.

So, in order for Polly to have a happy life, she needed to find a mate and have babies. A lot of babies as it turned out.

I am getting ahead. I initially moved Polly into a comfortable two bedroom house and let her socialize with whatever neighbors the computer generated for her to interact with. This used to be a huge challenge for me with the first Sims game. There were never enough ways to keep the “social” meter in the green, but Polly seems to have little trouble making friends. Polly is a single-minded gal when it comes down to it.

From their very first meeting, she had her eye on a Sim named Benjamin. I would describe Benjamin as a slob. He came outfitted in mismatching shorts and a sweater, and he ate like a pig when served dinner. Polly was smitten. Her thought bubbles constantly popped up with images of Benjamin and hearts and engagement rings. Her “wants” bar kept displaying wishes like “flirt with Benjamin” or “fall in love with Benjamin,” and for a time her biggest fear was “death of Benjamin.” And the guy hadn’t even given her a second glance!

Well, they wound up moving in together and getting engaged and married very rapidly. There just wasn’t another way to keep her happy! But, it was a very functional household to play with. Benjamin’s job was in the restaurant industry, and he happily went off to work everyday while she figured out how to do things like cook and repair the grandfather clock. And unclog the toilet.

Then, things went nuts. Polly’s wants were entirely baby-related. Her obsession made its way into nearly every conversation she had with any other Sim. In time, along came the first set of twins, Peggy and Herbert. Shortly after, the second set, Roland and Rupert. Polly was not yet completely happy. Then Penny was born. Finally, near the end of her adulthood, we have Priscilla. If you’re counting, that’s a household of 8. That is the max capacity for any one household in the game.

At this point, there are 4 teenagers in the house and two children. Both Polly and Benjamin are closing in on their elder years. I haven’t had the heart to go in and play with that family lately because I know, without the age-stopping cheat, Polly will not live forever.

However, the temptation to have her pass-on and leave the possibility of a Sim ghost to haunt whichever of the children inherits the house is always there.

Sims don't understand "Stop, Drop and Roll".

I didn't have as much time for Polly Experiment this weekend as I would have liked. I had quite a bit of actual work to accomplish, but I did take a little bit of time to teach my husband, Alex, the basics of the game. You see, he played the old school SimCity back in the day, but now only ever plays NHL '09. And I just can't stand sports games. They aren't even fun to watch. And if he doesn't win a game, he doesn't save and replays the same match until he does. So boring.

Anyway, he asked to try out my game, and since I haven't had time to indulge, I got him set up. I taught him the money cheat and everything. He had a nice household going for himself. His Sim had a job, too, for a couple of days. But then he got fired and, seeing that he is independently wealthy, decided to work on scoring some friends and skill points at home. These are important to have once he re-enters the work-force.

So happily little Sim Alex went along painting and cooking and making passes at the maid. I strongly discouraged this last behavior because it seems to make her less diligent at work and is kinda sleezy and all. But, whatev. Sim life went on.

Until Sim Alex went to make himself (and his date, the maid) hamburgers. Suddenly, he starts yelping and jumping about. Then, he bursts into flames. Real Alex was beside himself. "What do I do?!?" Well, I couldn't help since my Sims were never dumb enough to catch themselves on fire before. Their kitchens, sure, but never their little bodies. We watched in horror as the Grim Reaper came to decide if Sim Alex was to have another chance. The maid cried, but ultimately it was of little use. Sim Alex turned into an urn. Then, the Grim Reaper settled in to watch some TV and chat up the maid, who got over her grief pretty quickly. What a trashy woman.

Luckily, Real Alex exited the household without saving, so Sim Alex has actually been saved from death by essentially getting sent back in time.

I am sure there is some important life lesson somewhere in all of this.

I hate cat hair in my keyboard. Welcome to TELLAIHTF.

So the true theme of this experiment in blogging is The Extremely Limited Leisure Activities I Have Time For. (TELLAIHTF)

I didn’t want to blog about work because I really get enough work at work, thanks, although I have a badass job (Teen Services Specialist at a busy urban public library).

I didn’t want to blog about library services in general either. Library blogs are just too dry for me. No offense to anyone who maintains one. I think I am just saturated with library stuff right now.

I could maybe have blogged about book design and my second career in publishing. Eh. I love it and all, but blah blah blah.

Right now I have a lot going on. In order to maintain some semblance of sanity, I indulge in approximately 3 activities that have nothing to do with professionalism, education, librarianship, or being a grown up.

1. I play The Sims 2. I have been waiting YEARS to get this game, and over the holidays, I finally allowed myself to go for it. Now, I am NOT a gamer. Games for systems after the Super Nintendo bore me to tears. You all can HAVE your PS3s and Xboxes. The Wii is cool, but I don’t think I could play it. But I have a weakness for playing the Sims or SimCity on my Mac.

2. I love Where’s Waldo? That guy gets me every time.

3. I follow the Pittsburgh Penguins. Even with the current suckage they are currently experiencing.


Welcome to Polly Experiment Blog. Named after my first Sim, Polly Experiment herself. Look forward to exciting updates about the simulated life activities of a pixilated representation of a human being! You’ll all like Polly, I promise.

Now, I can rationalize playing on the computer, watching a hockey game, or nerding-out with Waldo because it is for school! Wooooo!